Sex: The Church's dirty secret.
All those wholesome families coming in each Sunday, pretending to be unaware of the abstract carnal force that allowed even the most devout man to enter the arched building with his satisfied lady and 9 their children. The pastor, standing before the congregation, his thin, blonde, big-breasted, wife sitting in the front row, and everyone just pretends that it's not there. It’s the thing they all know but refuse to call by name. Lust.
It was something every boy and girl in the youth program became painfully aware of in their teens, as the watchful church did all it could to keep each budding young adult in their place. Making sure boys and girls didn’t run off on their own was a task the Church became incredibly efficient at. But the carnal flesh was always thrashing below the restricting reigns of the Spirit and no one was truly free from it’s pull.
On Friday nights the high school students would come out to a room just barely attached to the main church building for a weekly youth service at “The Hangar.” It was meant to be the cool place to go. An alternative to debauchery, with arcade cabinets, neon lights, and music, all fitted to the theme of an airplane hangar. Anyone could come, and they did ... especially the girls after Ezra was hired.
Ezra was the new worship leader at The Hangar. He’d take the stage, lifting his voice and spirit to lead the congregation of wide-eyed and jaw-gaping teens swooning over him. Ripped jeans, leather boots, and an open flannel shirt over a tight tank top. His fingers danced over the guitar strings with lightening speed and efficiency. Long dark hair and piercing blue eyes, he was a rock star with the voice of an angel.
They all wanted him. None more than Hazel. She was the girl’s youth leader. She could hear the girls’ innermost horny thoughts as they whispered to one another about the wild things they entertained doing with Ezra. They were thoughts she herself had, but hid. Repressed. Locked away behind the keyhole of her peeping doe eyes. She watched him on the stage, swaying under the lights. Sweating. He was wild. She stared unintentionally until his beautiful blue eyes met hers and then she had to excuse herself. It was inappropriate.
It wasn’t until one Friday night after the service that they found themselves in the room later than usual. Ezra was cleaning up the stage as he did, and Hazel waited by as the last of the teens left. They had talked before, but always in groups. And suddenly she became aware of how alone they were in the dark neon-lit hangar.
“Are you going to be long?” Hazel asked weakly. “I need to lock up.”
“Yeah. I might be another minute, but you can go ahead. Just leave the back door open for me,” Ezra replied over his shoulder as he knelt down to wind up the equipment wires.
“Okay,” she said, locking the front and side doors, walking past him to get to the back door. He looked up at her, their eyes meeting, causing her to stop dead in her tracks. She could smell him as he stood. He towered over her. Their bodies inched closer. Hazel’s body weakened.
It was magnetic. She was compelled to kiss him as his gaze pulled her in. Their heads tilted, noses touching gently as they passed, and though their eyes had closed each pair of lips found the other. His tongue gently passed into the ever-so-slightly open slit of her mouth. Warmth spread as they tasted one another. It was as if their saliva had created the finest wine, with hints of berry and cedar.
His left hand held her by the back of her neck, massaging his long fingers into her thick blonde locks. His right hand loosely wrapped around her neck, framing her jaw line. It was as though he was pressing her face into his, and maybe he was a little, but she was pressing all the harder that neither could tell who wanted it more.
It was then his right hand began to run down the front of her body. He let his fingers tick across the buttons on her floral blouse before effortlessly twisting them from the tiny holes that held the shirt together. He peeked to see her pink lace bra. Ezra realized she’d made the decision before the night even started. She knew what was going to happen. Hazel came prepared.
Hazel’s breast filled the entire shape of his hand, spilling out of the gaps between his strong fingers as he gently squeezed. She moaned as her whole body began to blush. Her nipples tightened in excitement. He bowed his head down to take them in his mouth. He sucked, tongue twirling around the areola, and it was as though he pulled the air right out of her.
She reached down to his lap, finding a large lump stretched out his jeans. She rubbed it, trying to tease him back, but the hard shaft in her hand made her even more horny. It was too big for her hand and she had no idea what she was getting herself into, but she wanted it.
She pushed him onto his back, attacking his belt, whipping the long leather strap out free from it’s loops. He sat up, kissing her harder, as she pushed him back again, doing her best to pull off his pants that became caught on his muscular calves. She tugged so hard that he began to laugh. He guided her back and pulled the jeans the rest of the way off himself.
Ezra leaned in to her and took her all the way to the ground, pulling up her skirt and pulling down those matching pink panties she wore for him. He spread her legs all the way open to bite the inside of her thigh, just enough to hurt a little but not to make a mark. Then he began to kiss her slit. He pulled her lips apart with his fingers and used his big, warm tongue to lick from the bottom up. He knew what he was doing, and she had no idea what she’d gotten into. His fingers working her G-spot while his tongue caressed her clitoris, her whole body curled as electricity surged through her muscles in pleasure. She reached down to grab his muscled back, looking for a place to hang on, fearing she’d fall off the edge of the world.
“I … I ... Oh my God! I … can’t take it,” she finally managed to squeak.
“Okay,” he said with a smirk and one last, long lick.
He moved back up to kiss her. It was the first time she’d ever tasted her own body, but it was intoxicating coming from his lips. Hazel reached down to grab his rod, finding it almost too big to get her whole hand around. She was worried that it would hurt, but she was so wet it entered with hardly any resistance. Ezra smiled as Hazel’s eyes rolled back. Her hands clutched his body, pulling him deeper into her. He expected her to moan, but she chirped. It was as though she couldn’t handle the level of pleasure to even bring herself to moan. Instead little high-pitched squeaks made their way out as he thrust into her, over and over again.
“You like that, huh?” he said.
“Mmhm,” she affirmed between pants and biting her lip to keep herself from screaming.
They shared the stage together. Bodies rubbing together like instruments as their pelvic bones swayed, dancing in musical harmony, all leading up to a crescendo of grunts accompanied with warm liquid passing over and between them. They had become glued together. Holding each other underneath the makeshift blankets of their clothes. It was peaceful and sweet.
“We should go,” Ezra spoke gently.
“Okay,” Hazel replied.
She didn’t want to go but she would have done anything he said in that moment. They put their clothes on and locked the back door behind them, grateful to God that no one had come in on them. There was hardly another word spoken. Just giggles and little sweet kisses as he walked her to her car, and one last long kiss to say goodbye.
He didn’t call. He didn’t text. He didn’t have her number. Hazel left the Hangar in an emotional tornado of guilt and happiness and confusion. There was so much not discussed or accounted for. Were they going to be a couple? Was he in love with her? Was she in love with him? Was God going to be mad? She was certain it was a mistake. They were leaders for Christ’s sake! How was she supposed to tell her teenage girls to repress their desires while succumbing to her own?
When Friday came, Hazel went to the youth service at the Hangar, as she always did. She plotted for the entire week to come up with an excuse to get out of going, ashamed to be a leader to her girls, but ultimately decided it would draw less attention to just press forward. That was until the music began. Everyone rushed the stage; the swooning girls, the jamming boys, and Hazel, standing at the back, arms crossed and embarrassed, staring at the floor.
There he was standing on the stage. She heard his voice, that sweet angelic noise, and looked up. Their eyes met. Those wide dark does connecting with his beautiful blues. He smiled at her. She smiled at him.
Neither one was sorry.
*photo by Seth Doyle on Unsplash